"Doctor, it is not logical to dislike pizza."
Okay, so I've been moderately into Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles since the CGI movie came out a couple of years ago and I discovered the second cartoon and got sucked in. (Yes, there's another cartoon, and it's excellent, at least for the first four seasons.) So recently I was poking around Ebay in that area, looking at the action figures, and, well. You know how action figure lines go; you can't expect the customers to keep buying the same figures over and over again, and if you don't have a huge cast or they don't change costumes often enough, you're liable to come up with some pretty weird variations just to keep selling the things. And the original TMNT cartoon ran for ten years and most of the main cast didn't even wear clothes, plus it was already pretty silly, so the action figure line? Is totally insane. Apparently "ninja" was not a satisfying enough career choice, because the turtles are out there getting themselves all kinds of jobs. Cavalry soldier, rapper, stage magician, Green Beret, hockey player, caveturtle, dwarf, triceratops, Dracula, anything. I admit to boggling a little at Beachcomber Michaelangelo, who apparently spits for justice. If you say so, Mikey. Or Jim Lee's Raphael, which is the '90s in purest distilled form. And at the other end of the spectrum, the turtles as troll dolls. That's really kind of adorable.

The best, though, is definitely this: Mutant turtle Star Trek! They're all hysterical (there's something particularly bizarro about Leo with Kirk's hair), but the one I really love is Science Officer Donatello. He has pointy Vulcan ears! And a Pon Farr Battle Bo! No, I swear, that's what it says. Were the people doing the writeup not totally clear what that meant? Or am I supposed to be envisioning torrid turtle mating rituals? With Don and Leo fighting to the death over Venus de Milo? I am just not sure!

More fandoms should have this kind of canon crossover crack.